Was it real?

No, it wasn’t.

It is.

Nothing has ever been more genuine.

Something like this, no wait, that doesn’t exist. There is nothing like this.

No more truth has ever lived inside of a soul.

Or two.

It could never have stayed in a box.

There is no question.


Love well lived, lives on indefinitely.

Raise Me

The first thing I had written in years, which I wrote in 2018, was a post about seeing you. Seeing the hurt in you and recognizing it. Understanding you and being with you through those moments when life is heavy.

Fast forward two years, and low-and-behold people are doing that for me today.

They see my racing mind at 5:30 am and raise me a phone call at 5:35. To me, not from me. Because they also seem to see that although I need support, I am not the best at asking for it.

They see my tension, my anxiety, and raise me a gentle hand, or even just their presence until I can breathe again. They remind me that I am not crazy, and what I feel is real and normal.

They see my path, and raise me the gift of experience, of having been here before. They don’t tell me what to do, they guide me until I reach my own conclusions.

They see my self-doubt and raise me their reassurance and reminders of what is factual, and what is feeling. They give me the ability to trust in them until I can remember to trust in myself.

They see me.

Every time I think they won’t, or think they’ve had enough, they see that too.

Maybe I’m not too much.

Maybe I am just enough.

They see me, the me that no one else sees, and they raise me still.

“I’m so glad I went to that haunted house!”

     And boy am I ever!  I saw merely a thumbnail sized picture of this woman and my heart fluttered.  Just when I was really beginning to wonder why I could not find another woman that interested me, this one came out of no where! 

     She was an icon on a friends MySpace comment section.  A picture so small I could barely make out the tongue ring, and cute little glasses!  I could just barely see that smile, but it was clear that she was B E A U T I F U L!  I had to figure out a way to meet her.

     Thank goodness for friends who look out for you!  The girls already had it in the works before I even asked who she was.  They invited me to a haunted house and when I showed up I asked who the girl BECK was on their MySpace page.  Just than, the phone rang and one of the girls went to open the door.

    In moments, that gorgeously intimidating woman walked into the apartment and sat on the couch!  WOW. 

     One month later and my bags are packed.  I was so scared of my feelings, because in a way, I don’t think I expected to fall in love with another person, let alone another woman again.  I was done. (refer to previous posts).  All of the sudden I found myself at home with nothing to wear, and I realised that all of my things were at her house. 

Our lives fit together.  We fit together. 

     The best part is; we are not a strain on each other.  We are a compliment to one another.  This is a woman who brings out the absolute best in me.  And she can handle the worst of me.  What else could I ask for?

   Have you ever stayed home on a Friday night with your girl and decided to clean the bathroom together?  Have you ever had a kick ass time doing said cleaning?  Well, I had not until her.  She makes me do crazy things.

Tonight will be the first night that I have not held her in my arms since we began dateing.  This will be a tough one.  I love you lover!

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