#WhyIDidntReport

#WhyIDidntReport is trending on Twitter.

It is sexual assault awareness month.

The thing is, I did report. Twice. It didn’t make a difference, either time.

Drunken teenage boys are just kids. I shouldn’t have been at the party, and I shouldn’t have been drunk.

State troopers are, well, state troopers. I shouldn’t have been in the bar, and I shouldn’t have talked back.

Sixteen years later, and what I have learned is that speaking your truth doesn’t always get you justice. It was my experience that it brought me shame. Disappointment. More pain than the initial assault.

While I am eternally grateful that we have been given a much louder voice in recent years, I do wish that I would have had the same megaphone back then.  I wish I would have been stronger. Smarter. Quicker.

I’m an idealist. I thought that if I did the right thing, the truth would see the light of day.

It may not have been illuminated back then, but today, today I can at least shine what little light I have to try to make it a bit easier for the next person to speak up.