I did not do endings.
I was “Ride or die”, to a fault.
I did not do fear.
I was “Never Let Go”, for fear of the unknown.
I did not do self-care.
I was “I’ll get to it later”, until there was no more time.
I did not do alone time.
I was “Please don’t leave me”, so that I didn’t have to be with myself.
There was a lot that I didn’t do. There were so many fears in my heart, soul, and mind that I was almost paralyzed into standing still. Please don’t be fooled; the past tense here seems to imply I feel fearless today. That is quite distant from the truth.
Today, I feel the fear. Frankly, I’m terrified but I acknowledge it. I don’t run from it or try to hide from it anymore. I don’t purposefully act in any way just to avoid feeling fear.
Here, on the eve of an ending, the precipice of fear and alone-time, I choose to take care of myself.
I choose to do different.