I think I know by now where anger comes from within me.  For me it stems from a place of great fear.  It surfaces from a hurt ego.  Anger being the secondary emotion, while fear and hurt are primary.

I am seethingly angry.

So, what am I afraid of?

Terrified of losing something.  Scared of making the wrong choice.  Maybe I am actually to blame.  Is it possible that I am unlovable?

Therein steps my ego.

I believed I was important.  I put an unrealistically high value on what I had.  Maybe even a self-centered view of it.  If I’m not unhappy how could anyone be?

Fuck it.  I have no idea.  All I know is that I have to get beyond anger.  It feels like a poison in my chest spreading to my brain and soul.  I need to get beyond lashing out.  None of this feels healthy.  It can’t be.


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