I think I know by now where anger comes from within me. For me it stems from a place of great fear. It surfaces from a hurt ego. Anger being the secondary emotion, while fear and hurt are primary.
I am seethingly angry.
So, what am I afraid of?
Terrified of losing something. Scared of making the wrong choice. Maybe I am actually to blame. Is it possible that I am unlovable?
Therein steps my ego.
I believed I was important. I put an unrealistically high value on what I had. Maybe even a self-centered view of it. If I’m not unhappy how could anyone be?
Fuck it. I have no idea. All I know is that I have to get beyond anger. It feels like a poison in my chest spreading to my brain and soul. I need to get beyond lashing out. None of this feels healthy. It can’t be.