2:30AM 4 Year Old Foster Son wakes up screaming and crying for his Mom and Grandmother. I rub his back for a while and can’t fall back asleep.

5:20AM I hear my Wife’s Drums being played. My 4 Year Old Son is wide awake (as usual), and for some reason playing the drums.

5:35AM I hear the faint beep of the coffee machine letting me know it is ready to help me tackle this morning.

5:40AM I am pouring my coffee, and my son comes in asking if it is “show and share day” because he would like to wear his Elsa Dress and shoes to school today. And he would like me to put his extra Elsa Dress and Anna Dress in a bag so that he can share with is friends.

6:00AM My son is screaming because I can’t find his Elsa gloves. I’m already on edge from no sleep, the thought of him wearing his dress to school and distracting other kids, and now, I know full well that I will not be able to find his gloves. This will cause an already difficult morning to become horrific once I try to explain that we will not have them for school today.

6:30AM I am in the bathroom trying to put on my face for the day. In comes my little guy. (Foster son actually sleeps in, so he isn’t even up yet.) “Mom I’m gonna put on some make-up.” “No Babe, it’s for adult’s”. Of course he doesn’t care and takes the bright blue eye shadow and applies it all over his beautiful little face. “Does this look good Mom?” “Yup, sure does, but let’s take a wipe and wipe it off so that I can see your face.”

6:40AM “I don’t want to take it off. I don’t like my brown skin. I want white skin like you and Elsa.”

A knife to my heart. My guts are on the floor before it’s even 7 O-Clock in the morning.

“Oh Baby, your skin is Brown and BEAUTIFUL. Everyones skin is different. Yours is just like Daddy’s, and Mom Blanks, and Blank and Blank…”

7:30AM “Okay boys it’s time for school!”

“Mom, I don’t have a dad do I?”

“Oh yes, of course you do and daddy loves you very much, we can Skype him tonight if you want.”

“But I can’t go to his house, he lives far far away.”

9:30AM Foster sons mom doesn’t make it to his visit. Devastating because he has been crying for her for two weeks.

9:45AM Get a call from very important doctor that previous little foster was not taken to his appointment today. I’d have given my right arm to take him.

Today was the hardest in a long time. All before 10AM.

On a lighter note, I did find the gloves, so my sons day was saved at least.

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