Friend: You know what you are doing right?
Me: Yup, please make me stop.
Friend: I am going to say something now, I’ve been listening for weeks, and now I am finally going to say something…
Me: Please, just say it.
Friend: When you ask your best friend, me, to hang out, and I tell you I am not up to it, do you get mad at me?
Me: Of course not!…. Oh god…
Friend: Every type of relationship, starts as a friendship, and great relationship, romantic relationship, starts out at best friends… Don’t treat this any different.
Okay so my perspective: I was having a real hard time understanding why I was behaving the way I was. And I still am not sure why I was. But I sure as hell, now, have an understanding of how not to behave that way. This is all a learning thing. I’ll never change who I am. But I will, constantly, better who I am. I will forever, every day, find something about myself that I can improve. I am a handful, I don’t play that down in the least. But I honestly believe that I am worth it. And please, this is not me being cocky, I don’t think I have bone like that in my body. But it is me, being hopeless. These negative things about me… somehow, someway, they are cute…dare I say endearing? If someone can understand that I never mean to be “that girl”, they might just be flattered by the way I behave. Or maybe I am wrong. however, I am from now on, going to treat everyone as my best friend.
I will never be mad when my best friend doesn’t want to hang out. I will never think that my best friend is uninterested in me when they say they are too busy on that given day… So why should I give anyone else, anything less than that?
Honestly, I feel so much better. I feel like this really made sense to me. And made me understand what I was doing. I love you Tracy! I love you with all of my heart!